The Roller Coaster

August 10, 2000

When I wrote this poem, I was going through some hard times. The metaphor of a roller coaster came to me as I was reading about a roller coaster in "Our Daily Bread" during my personal devotions in that same time period. Irving Hedstrom, one of the pillars of our church, died of cancer. 19-year-old Paul Chessman, also from our church, was suddenly killed in an accident in the mountains (the next poem is about him). My Great-Uncle Maynard came down with cancer, and he later died (after I wrote this poem). August 2000 saw ravenous fires in Montana, near my birthplace. In fact, Uncle Maynard and his family almost had to flee because their farm was threatened by the fires. This all happened in the course of a week! At the same time, the United Performing Arts Company, our church’s outreach to community actors, was working on "Once Is Enough" by Jack Sharkey, a hilarious play which God used to keep me going.

O Lord, I am on a roller coaster
A man I respected has died
And the coaster goes down
But his pain is gone
And he is with You
So the coaster goes up.
The flames blaze high
Near the place of my birth
And the coaster plummets.
We practice for a play
And You help us laugh
As we enjoy practice,
The coaster goes up.
And I go to bed.
In the morning I learn
Of a tragedy in the mountains
A hiker has fallen
And they are searching for the body
Of my friend. Is he alive?
The coaster goes down
And levels off as I wait...and pray...
and hope for the best...
The worst is confirmed
As the body is found. Dead.
19 years is too young to die.
The coaster plummets down, down, down.
I prayed that he would live
I implored for You to spare his life
But You saw fit to take him.
Thank You for sparing his life.
I learn that my mother’s uncle is dying
Will probably die soon
And the coaster falls further.
He knows You, so even if he dies
He will be with You.
So the coaster goes up. A bit.
Tomorrow we have the play
I know the coaster will go up
Thank You for the highs
Without them, who could bear the lows?
Thank You for the lows
Without them, would I understand in the same way
How precious life is?
Thank You for both
Thanks for Your eternal faithfulness
I don’t deserve such unconditional love
The last week has had lows
But You have tempered them with highs
I am so thankful I serve You
Without You, I would be nothing
Without You, I would have no hope
I am something because of You
I have hope because of You
I can’t wait to see my departed brothers
When I live with You
When I can run into Your outstretched arms
And hear You say, "Well done."
But in the meantime,
I will continue to cast my cares on You
And thank You for the roller coaster of life.
Amen